If you are familiar with blockchain terminology, the title might ring a bell. But this note has nothing to do with it. There are other notes about it.
Here I talk about how do you know what you are doing is really your choice or an influence from the outside world. Is it a genuine interest that aligns with your desires or is it an abstract thing?
Of course, there is the debate that besides our absolute basic needs we have no control over our decisions whatsoever. Well, I’m not going or can go into depth into human phycology but I’m going to view this on a practical level since this is the way we experience it on a daily basis.
Many times we can’t tell for sure what we really want to do with our lives. We want to be this and do that but more often than not we can’t really say if the source of our pursuits came from our own head or from an abstract concept floating around in social media. Many times we see the end result manifest in other people and say “aha that is what I want” or “that is how I want to be perceived in other people’s eyes”. We get into the trap of visualizing ourselves being successful and happy. We visualizing ourselves at the finish line, without a sweet and not in the endless middle where uncertainty is the norm.
We are also very fond of prescriptions. An easy way to success or a path that is curved before us, for us.
In a messy and noisy world like ours, you have to fight to be yourself and listen to what lives inside your own head. The attention economy has not only cost us our attention but it tweaked our distraction knobs to the max. It gave us abundance but abundant confusion as well.
Proof of interest is to get to know if a subject or interest is really ours or it’s inherited directly and unconsciously from our environment. You can think of it as a way to come to some kind of consensus with yourself.
It seems like either a silly problem — if you are confident that day and believe that you have everything in your life figured out — or like an impossible problem if you are stuck.
A distinction has to be made here. I’m talking about the early stages of getting involved in something and not if you are well deep into the weeds where things are more clear. At least in intention.
Some possible pointers. Take them with a grain of salt.
- Whatever you read or do you don’t care about talking about it and showing off that you know. Of course, you want to talk about it but you are not obsessing about it. If you find people and you get the chance to express your option that is a bonus.
- You are thinking about it without outside stimulation. You don’t need to remind yourself to do it.
- The doing is the payoff. Just the act of improving and learning more about it is enough.
The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. - Albert Camus