How do you know what you are doing is really your choice or an influence from the outside world. Is it a genuine interest of yours or is it an abstract desire that you picked from somewhere?
Of course, there is the debate that we have no control over our decisions whatsoever. Well, I’m not going or can go in-depth into human phycology but I rather view this from a practical standpoint since this is the way we experience it daily.
In a messy and noisy world like ours, you have to fight to listen to what lives inside your own head. Modern life and technological growth have not only cost us our attention but it tweaked our distraction knobs to the max. It gave us abundance but abundant confusion as well. With the ease of broadcasting our lives, everyone has become a celebrity. We either showcase how great our life is or we become a spectator of other people’s lives.
Many times we can’t tell nor know for sure what we really want to do with our lives. We want to be this and do that but more often than not we can’t really say if the source of our desires comes from our own head or from an abstract concept floating around social media. Many times we see the end result manifest in other people and say “aha that is what I want” or “that is how I want to be perceived in other people’s eyes”. We get into the trap of visualizing ourselves being successful and happy. We are visualizing ourselves at the finish line, without dropping a drop of sweat and not in the endless middle where uncertainty, and confusion are the norm.
We are also very fond of prescriptions. An easy way to success or a path that is curved before us, for us. Just give me a bullet list to follow and I’ll get there. But prescriptions rarely work, if ever.
Proof of interest is to get to know if a subject or interest is really yours or it’s inherited directly and unconsciously from your environment. You can think of it as a way to come to some kind of consensus with yourself. To prove to yourself that “I really want this”.
It seems like either a silly problem — if you are confident that day and believe that you have everything or most things in your life figured out — or like an impossible problem if you are stuck.
A distinction has to be made here. I’m talking about the early stages of getting involved in something and not if you are well deep into the weeds where things are more clear, at least in intention. Many will say that if you really want something you feel it in your gut. Well, I sure have felt that, but it doesn’t seem to help much on a practical level.
Some possible pointers.
- Whatever you read or do or learn you don’t mind talking about it and showing off that you know. Of course, you want to talk about it but you are not obsessing over it. If you find people and you get the chance to express your option or ask questions that is a bonus.
- You are thinking about it without outside stimulation. You don’t need to remind yourself to do it or to motivate yourself. You won’t say things like “Ohh I slacked for some time now, better start again”.
- The doing is the payoff. Just the act of improving your craft and learning more about it is enough.
- It feels natural and relatively easy. And when it’s hard it still feels natural. You view it as an opportunity for growth and not as a misfortune.
The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. - Albert Camus